Short fiction snippet
Jul. 20th, 2018 10:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ottergrrlThe really ironic part was that I signed for the thing purely out of irritation. The post office had lost every one of my Christmas packages, and pure spite inspired by 6 months of passive aggressively fighting with the post office took over the controls for a moment.
“Sure, here you go…”
And a short, indecipherable scribble later, the box was mine. I opened it, expecting Columbia house cd’s at the very least, and found a bedraggled Assyrian bird headed Demon from the 25th dimension. It stood, somehow dignified, if bedraggled, and cleared it’s throat. “O master who has called me forth from Byblos … Oh, wait. Are you Lester?”
“Er, no. I’m Erik.” Mutely, he offered a receipt. A. Crowley, London, … 2018? Oh dear. Satan Central was famously picky when it came to demon deliveries. One mis stroke of the pen and your demon doesn’t show up for a day or a week later. Pretty rare for a magician to be off by a century, though… I looked down, my mind working, and after a moment:
“So, it looks like there’s been a mistake.”
The demon blanched, then promptly began hissing and turning a really alarming shade of purple.
“Hey! Hey!” I waved in it’s face. “Um, person? Don’t freak, man, it’s cool… “ and at this the purple diminished to a teal, then pink, then after a moment the demon’s skin was it’s normal mottled gold. “You just gotta hang out here until Aleister shows up again. No-one knows when that’s likely to be but you could never tell with that guy. In the meantime, if you could make yourself handy… “
The crucial part is to be ready to doctor them with some good quality coal if they get a cold, anthracite if you can get it, 1 chunk every 6 hours or so. And most important of all, it would be good if it never figured out that Aleister was dead, or, worse, that I hid that information from him. Wouldn’t you for a half eternity of free service from a demon? They are remarkably fastidious and very good cooks, so long as you like your food spicy..
And a short, indecipherable scribble later, the box was mine. I opened it, expecting Columbia house cd’s at the very least, and found a bedraggled Assyrian bird headed Demon from the 25th dimension. It stood, somehow dignified, if bedraggled, and cleared it’s throat. “O master who has called me forth from Byblos … Oh, wait. Are you Lester?”
“Er, no. I’m Erik.” Mutely, he offered a receipt. A. Crowley, London, … 2018? Oh dear. Satan Central was famously picky when it came to demon deliveries. One mis stroke of the pen and your demon doesn’t show up for a day or a week later. Pretty rare for a magician to be off by a century, though… I looked down, my mind working, and after a moment:
“So, it looks like there’s been a mistake.”
The demon blanched, then promptly began hissing and turning a really alarming shade of purple.
“Hey! Hey!” I waved in it’s face. “Um, person? Don’t freak, man, it’s cool… “ and at this the purple diminished to a teal, then pink, then after a moment the demon’s skin was it’s normal mottled gold. “You just gotta hang out here until Aleister shows up again. No-one knows when that’s likely to be but you could never tell with that guy. In the meantime, if you could make yourself handy… “
The crucial part is to be ready to doctor them with some good quality coal if they get a cold, anthracite if you can get it, 1 chunk every 6 hours or so. And most important of all, it would be good if it never figured out that Aleister was dead, or, worse, that I hid that information from him. Wouldn’t you for a half eternity of free service from a demon? They are remarkably fastidious and very good cooks, so long as you like your food spicy..
